After Innocence

 

Ten years older, ten years wiser? I don't think so. I'm doing the same insane things that I always dreamed of, but not in the way I'd planned. My dreams changed--or, more accurately, my dreams *died*--before I even turned twenty. I wanted to save the world. I wanted to be the best and brightest of heroes. I was young and invincible. Heh. I know better now. I'm as weak and human as the next person. I've been hurt, and I've hurt too damn many people in the process of making myself whole again. I don't think I'll ever be forgiven for some of the things I've done to them, and God knows I don't deserve to be. I've accepted that as much as I can. But everyone dreams of unconditional love and forgiveness. Why should I be any different?

So I'm trying to make up for my sins. I'm trying to stave off the wolves at the back door. I'm trying to break down the web of silence that is crawling across the nation.

All right, I'm trying to fuck with the government. I might as well be honest. But seeing as they're fucking us right back, I don't feel too bad. Even in my proto x-man years I never realized how deeply entrenched the government was in mutant affairs. I should have seen this coming. We all should have. Some of us still haven't. More the fool they. My little "radical terrorist splinter group" and I do our best. You see, in my own way it's really always been for the children. It sounds cliched, I know, until you've been one of them. When it comes down to it, we're affected just as much as they are. Sometimes more.

In their own inept way, they tried to make the world better for us. It's our turn to try and prevent it from being fucked up worse.

Well, hell. Here come the reinforcements.

Paige Guthrie, better known to the world as the mutant terrorist, Meta, could see them coming from her perch atop the Newcannon building in Dallas. The wind swirled around her as she gently brushed a few errant strands of black hair away from her face. Familiar faces all, they'd kept the children away this time. That was good. She'd come too close to hurting the pyrokinetic redhead recently. She couldn't have been more than twenty. God, putting kids to battle like that, you'd think they'd have learned.

//Meta? What's goin' on?//

Rahne's voice filtered over the transmitter in Paige's ear. Concern hovered silently. The raven haired girl should have been halfway to Seattle by now.

"Everthin's fine, Wolfsbane, Ah'm just seein who they sent now. Looks like Synch, Rogue, Jubilee, mmm...she looks pissed, Siryn…Hmph. They're short one. They usually send them out in packs o' five. Wagner and Wisdom Bureaucracy, y' can't beat it."

The voice behind her startled her enough that she almost lost her balance.

"While I must admit that I benefit from your loquaciousness, I find I'm rather disappointed to have been omitted from your observations. I am, after all, rather difficult to miss."

Paige whirled around. "Beast!" Her right hand ripped away to reveal a vicious looking blade. "What a pleasant surprise, it's been a while. Rome, right?"

The Beast grinned, "No, I believe it was Athens, actually. You'd just blown up the Kirous Tower and had some rather sensitive papers in your possession." He advanced upon her carefully. "Not unlike now."

Paige gave a noncommittal shrug. "Ah haven't blown anything up. Yet."

//Meta?//

"I've always meant to ask, what kind of name is 'Meta' anyway?"

"What th' hell kind of name was 'Husk'?" Paige countered with a grin of her own. She sliced at Beast, causing him to fall back. "Better open a portal, Ah'm coming through," she called through her transmitter.

//On it.//

"Y' know Ah wouldn't have taken out that building if Ah hadn't a good reason, Henry." A portal opened next to her. "Even you would agree that it was an excellent one. Now if you'll excuse me..." She began to step into the portal, blade pointed at the Beast's midsection when his voice stopped her.

"They've been asking about you again...Sam, Beth, Josh... Kitty seems to think that they shouldn't be held back from dealing with you, and she's starting to talk Kurt around. He's the only reason they haven't been yet. It may be beneficial for you to...take a vacation, as it were, from your crusade. Unless you're willing to come with us now..?"

Paige could hear Jubilee howling in the distance, "You hold her RIGHT THERE Beast! I wanna have a few words with that..." She gave him a soulful look.

"Not for all the ScanCards on Earth."

And was gone.

She stepped into the little office that she and Rahne maintained outside of Seattle. It was a dismal little place, but filled with all the necessary equipment: computers to dig information out of its hiding places, scanblockers to hide the mutant signatures from the government scanners which could easily identify her and her location, and miles of cables connecting their operation to the outside. America had turned into something straight out of a movie. Theoretically it made no difference if you were mutant or human, but that was a lie. It had always been a lie.

Rahne sat in a small room off to the side, surrounded by the computers. "You'd think they'd get tired of chasing you around. There are better things that they could be doing." She gave Paige an amused look. "Trying to find the Easter bunny, for example."

Paige shrugged and flipped her a disk. "We make them look bad. You know that. Rebel X-men. Is th' K-L39 Block information there?"

Rahne shoved it into a computer and punched in a few commands. After a moment she shook her head. "Can't tell yet. They've got the files so heavily protected it'll be a while before I can get them open. I did get the H-L29 files open, but there's not much we can use there. Identifies some of the inmates, which we more or less knew already, but no locations." She continued tapping away at the keyboard.

"Ah hell." Paige slumped down in her chair. "Did you at least send that on to Patrick?"

"No, I sent it to Kitty instead. Of course I sent it on to Patrick!" Rahne turned around to glare at her. "Patrick will make sure I dinna miss anything." The computer beeped softly. " It's amazing to think about really, how he understands computers. He reminds me of Dougie in so many ways."

Oh no, let's not get that started again. "D'ya know what Henry told me today?"

"Talked to him, did you?" Amusement colored Rahne's voice as she studied the message on the screen.

"Hmph. He says Kitty wants to send my family after me." Paige gripped the sides of the chair, white knuckled. "My family! God, Ah thought they were at least decent enough to do me that-"

"Damn. DAMN. We need to get out of here." Rahne punched a few keys and the computer screens went blank. She grabbed a signature encoder and flipped another one to Paige. "Come on, the Traxial Core has been breached, they'll be here any minute." Snatching a small computer from a side table, she strapped it to her side and quickly transferred several files to it.

"Shit. How'd they do that?" Paige leapt up and pocketed the device. Her hands went to her face and quickly grasped the skin. She gave a strong pull and revealed a nondescript brunette woman underneath.

"Tracer in one of the files, I think." Rahne raced out the door and down the hall, Paige following quickly behind. She stopped at the corner. Shifting slightly to access her mutant powers, she inhaled the air deeply. "There's someone down the hall with a neutragun. We're going to have to go out the window. Shifting fully into her wolf-like form Rahne nimbly climbed out onto the ledge.

"Rahne!" Paige called softly. "Damn her an' her love of cloak and dagger…" she grumbled as she slipped out onto the ledge as well. "We've got sigcoders, we can walk out!"

"I heard that!" Rahne glared up at her from a window directly below where Paige stood. "They'd have recognized me on the spot! I've only got the two faces. Now get down here so I can open a 'port."

Paige could hear the crash of the office door as the government's Sub-I agents invaded their former office. Husking her arms into a rubber-like substance, she swung herself into the room with Rahne. Back in her human form, she was busily punching commands into a hand held computer. There was a soft sucking sound as a portal appeared by the doorway.

"Nice move," Rahne commented as she continued programming in coordinates.

"Yeah, well, I learned from the best." Paige gave her a morose smile. "We ready yet?"

"Almost. Okay." The door handle began rattling insistently. "Let's get out of here."

The door flew open and two semi-transparent figures entered holding neutraguns.

"So what did she get?"

Hank stared at the petite brunette who had slipped into his office. The door was locked, he was sure of it. Not for the first time he mused that responsibility had been bad for Kitty. In the years since she had become one of the four leaders of the X-men she had shed what semblance of manners and tact she had once possessed.

"One of these days Kitty, you're going to sneak through that door and you're not going to like what you see," he remarked mildly.

Kitty waved the statement away with her hand. "What did she take?" At the negative shake of his head, she sat down on the corner of his desk and pulled out a cigarette. "I swear she's going to be the death of us all. Rogue says she saw you two talking. About what?"

"Rogue told you that?" Mild surprise tinged his voice.

"Yeah, well." She withdrew a battered matchbook from her pocket and struck a light from it. The beleaguered thing bore an illustration of a small black bird and the legend 'The Jackdaw'. She fingered it absentmindedly for a moment before abruptly stuffing it back into her jeans. "So what did she say?"

"Just the usual verbal sparring. Nice to see you. Love the costume. Can I get your tailor. That sort of thing." He hoped he sounded non-committal. He could hear the aggravation in her voice. She hated Paige with the passion of a zealot and was always at her most antagonizing after the team had a bout with her. He'd had a bit of a reprieve these past few months while he had been working on a Legacy treatment. Now that his share of the research had been placed in Moira's hands, he'd been returned to active status on the team roster.

"I saw the live feed. You didn't exactly expend a lot of energy trying to stop her."

"Pray forgive me," impatience crept into his voice, "but I felt that forcing her to rent my furry blue self in twain would not help our position. Moreover…"

She cut him off. "Moreover, you didn't want to stop her." She took a long drag on her cigarette. She held it for a moment before exhaling. "I told Kurt that we should have sent someone else on that mission. You've always had a soft spot for her, Hank. Admit it."

He was silent for a moment, his eyes held to a single sheet of paper on his desk. Then, in a low voice that was simultaneously gentle and vicious, he began to speak. "Kitty, don't go in that direction. It'll lead you nowhere." He folded the paper in half, and then into quarters carefully. "Let me pose a question to you instead. Why are you so determined to stop her? In terms of death and destructiveness she's on the relatively low scale of villains. She hasn't killed anyone, actually. I will grant you that it was decidedly poor of her to bomb some of those government buildings, but we didn't think those were actually legitimate medical research facilities anyway, did we?"

"Stop it, Hank."

"In fact, most of the things she's done have been related to various government groups that have distinctly shady dealings. One might be able to make the case that she's trying to do good, as it were. But you haven't wanted to look at that any closer than necessary, have you? Of course not." The older man stood and crossed the floor so that he might be able to look her directly in the eye. She returned his stare coldly. "But what really sets you aflame, I think, is the fact that when she 'defected,'" Kitty flinched at the venom he infused in the single word, "Your words, not mine. What really bothers you is that she took Rahne and the young linguist with her. You'd love to corner her in an room and have it out, wouldn't you?" He walked to the door as a violent red flush rose in her face. As he opened the door he calmly remarked, "She didn't get much of anything this time. Apparently they were expecting her and left some falsified files, which she took. If she tries to access them anywhere on the Network, it'll alert them to her location. Be glad, Kitty. You may get to have your wish after all. Now please leave."

Kitty stood and with a disdainful smile strode up to Hank, pausing just before the doorway. "You think you have all the answers don't you?" The smile began to take on a brittle quality. "I hope she does get taken in. You're right. I can't wait to have a word with her." Taking in one last draw on the cigarette, she dropped it on the ground and stepped on it. Phasing through the wall she called back, "There's a debriefing tonight, make sure you're there."

Hank shut the door quietly, retreating to the sanctity of his chair. He unfolded the paper again and re-read it contents. Christ. He needed to consider what he was about to do.

.

The Sub-I agents were typical of the breed, clones of the original Sub-I agents. Silent puppets, engineered to be shadows of themselves, they were only partially visible. It was a superficial change, they couldn't phase through solid matter, but it gave them the edge when it came to moving about undetected. Not that it was necessary now. The neutraguns were aimed point blank at the two women.

Paige's mind raced. There was no way that they could to get to the portal without getting hit by a blast from one of the guns. Damn things not only neutralized your powers but paralyzed you in the process. She could try to shove Rahne out the window behind them so that she could get away. No, the stubborn woman would probably throw herself back in when she realized Paige wasn't going to follow.

Suddenly Rahne morphed into her wolf state and snarled at the two men, startling them. One of the agents shot a round off. It hit the computer strapped to Wolfsbane's side, shorting it. The portal blinked closed. It was enough of a distraction for Paige to flip over a table and duck behind it while Rahne dived behind the desk. Quickly she began to rip away at her hand. A gaseous green substance began to leak out underneath her fingers and float around the edges of the table. She'd morphed too many times too quickly and pain laced up her arm. The guns fired off another couple of blasts before a tinny voice filtered out into the room.

"Meta. So clever. Such a clever girl. But so foolish. Did you think we wouldn't catch up with you? Come out and take your lumps like a big girl. I promise you'll get four star treatment all the way." It paused for a moment and then continued on in a crazily cheerful voice, "Or perhaps we could come to an arrangement."

Daneson. He always sounds like a cross between Orson Wells and a deranged nanny. Paige continued to scrabble at her hand. Almost..

"Come on my dear girl. I'd rather not have to do it this way. Just surrender yourself. We'll talk terms when you get to the home office."

Gunshots rang out from over by the desk. Rahne leaned around the side and let out a few more blasts at the agents. She quickly ducked back behind it as her fire was returned.

"You have a friend! How nice. Who could it be? I'll bet it's the wolf-girl. Well, she can come too. Bring everyone along!"

"HA! SOD OFF!" Rahne took a few more pot shots at the two figures.

One slumped to the ground abruptly, his gun clattering across the floor.

Paige finally calibrated her hand to the form she desired, a silver gun that could barely contain the gas that wafted from the end. She leapt from behind the table, her hand spraying the remaining shadowy figure with the gas. It immediately congealed, forming a slick green chrysalis that effectively smothered him. As he twitched on the ground, Daneson's voice faintly emerged from the dying agent. "...such a clever...skkt*..."

She glanced at Rahne who was rapidly examining her computer. "Will it work?"

"No. It's fried. It got my coder too."

"Do ya know if there are any other shades in th' building?"

Shifting slightly, Rahne tested the air. Tensing, she replied, "Not here, precisely, but close."

"Let's get th' hell out of here then."

The door hadn't even shut behind them before Jubilee started pulling at the collar of Everett's uniform. "C'mon Ev, lets get you out of that monkey suit." She nipped at his ear lightly and wrapped her body around his. One of her hands roamed across his chest unfastening the clasps that ran across it. Her other hand stroked his leg, testing the strength of the muscles just below the skin. Coming around to face him she dropped a line of kisses down his chest as she pushed the material away.

Everett pulled Jubilee up into his arms. Cupping her chin and he drew her mouth to his. Her hands roamed over his back, touching and teasing as they moved. He held her tightly for a moment before gently withdrawing from the embrace.

"What?" Jubilee followed Ev as he made his way into the suite of rooms the two shared. "You okay?"

He sank down on the bed and stripped out of his shirt. Hands fumbling at the computerized belt at his waist he looked up at her with an exhausted expression. "Yeah. It's just…" He shook his head.

Jubilee climbed up on the bed behind him and rubbed her hands up and down his arms slowly. "I know. It's not any easier for me, either. If she'd just talk to us it'd be better."

Everett shook his head. "No, it'd be worse. Knowing would be worse."

Jubilee made a small sound. She had her own opinions about that. Knowing that Paige was off her rocker would certainly go a long way to explaining all of the things she'd done over the years. She had to be crazy, because if she wasn't, that would hurt too much. Paige had been as much of a sister to her as Jubilee had ever had. Of course if it turned out that Paige was the same rational person she'd always been, a little voice nagged at the back of her mind, that would mean that that she'd abandoned them on purpose. Jubilee shut that thought up hurriedly. No need to think about that. Yep. Crazy. Paige was absolutely nuts and needed their help.

Ev's hands came up to cover Jubilee's, interrupting her thoughts. He grinned at the too serious look that covered her face and brought his up to hers for a soft kiss. "C'mon. Let's go take a shower before the meeting." Rising from the bed, he took her hand and pulled her along with him to the bathroom.

Hank looked up from the bag he was packing. It was almost time to head down to the meeting. He was still unsure about the step he was about to take. He'd left the team before, but he hadn't felt this overwhelming sense of dread and resignation before. He zipped up the bag and threw it over his shoulder. He'd already taken two suitcases down to his car and boxed some things he'd have Jubilee send him later. Sparing one last glance for his old room, he opened the door and made his way to the conference room.

The debriefings were typically made up of the team that went on the mission and the leadership council. Hank quietly let himself into the room and settled in a chair near the end of the table. Everett and Jubilee hung back against the wall. As usual, Rogue was missing and Theresa was sitting as far away from the council as she could manage. At the head of the table Kitty, Kurt Wagner and Pete Wisdom sat, quietly talking among themselves. The mission's team itself was a mix of the two American teams, Theresa having been drafted from the Blue Team to take Sam's place on the mission. Kitty led the Blue team, Kurt the Gold. Wisdom led one of the two international teams and was in the country to revise some policies, leaving Brian Braddock in charge overseas. After some heated discussion Pete stood and stalked from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Kitty looked up. "Is everyone here yet?"

"Everyone who's gonna show." Everett rested his chin on Jubilee's head as she leaned back against him. "Rogue's down at the nursery. She won't come up for this."

"All right then, let's get going." Kitty started ticking off points on a notepad. "Today's meeting is about the Dallas fiasco. Meta managed to break in and take some files which Hank seems to think weren't worth the disks they were scanned on and get away. Comments?"

Jubilee gave Kitty an irate look and opened her mouth. "Now waitaminute, she didn't just 'get away'. She…"

The door opened and shut with a soft click as Sam Guthrie slipped into a chair beside Hank. Silence reigned across the room. Kurt cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Sam asked us to include him in this meeting. He had heard that you had spoken to Paige. Ja, Henry?" At his nod Kurt continued, "Naturally he was interested in what she had said."

"Ah haven't spoken to Paige since just after Jolene had Molly." Sam's eyes were fevered, his voice low. "Ah just want to know how she is. We all do."

Hank studied his hands silently for a moment before replying. "She appears well. I can't say as to whether she was happy, but she didn't seem overwhelmingly distraught either."

"She's all right then." Sam's voice was hopeful. "Did she say anything else?"

He brought his eyes up to stare deep into Sam's. "I mentioned that you'd been asking after her and she froze up." Sam sucked in his breath as if he'd been punched. "I'm sorry."

"Ah'm sorry too."

"We all are." Kitty's strident tones sliced through the room. "But the fact remains that she broke into yet another government facility with the intent to steal and potentially destroy information that deals with mutagenic research. This is the fourth one this year that we know about. Any information she gave you, Hank, benefits everyone here in this room. For all you know it could be your own research that she's after."

"But we don't know, Kitty. You've never seen fit to share that information wi' us." Theresa's eyes bore into hers. "Is that what she's been takin'? You've never offered a straight answer."

Kitty's eyes narrowed. "I've always told you what you've needed to know."

"But never enough. Did you know about this, McCoy?"

Kurt cut in smoothly, "What Kitty means is that we are unable to offer full details as to what Meta has taken as per government request. We have shared some of the information with you in different degrees, which is why Henry was told about some of the information she has obtained. Also his familiarity in dealing with the government has also been an aid to us. We are doing this not as a favor to them, but because Paige was one of us. We feel, as do the rest of you, I'm sure, that it's better that we stop her before they do."

"Hate t' break it to you, Elf," as usual when irritated, Jubilee reverted to her old speech patterns. "But considerin' that we've been after her for the last six years or so, I doubt we're gonna catch her anytime soon."

"That may not be an issue much longer." Hank rose from the table. "As I told Kitty earlier, I met an excitable young official on my way out of the building today." His mind recoiled in disgust as he recalled the sugary, giddy viciousness that had poured from the younger man. "Apparently the files she took were bugged with a tracer. They could have tracked her to wherever she is by now. I for one am not going to wait to find out." He turned to face both Kitty and Kurt. She had a smug expression on her face, he, one of dawning concern. Hank's words dropped from his lips sharp as glass, "I am taking an extended leave from the team. I'm not sure if or when I will return."

Nein ."

"I'm sorry Kurt. I will not follow you on your crusade blindly, Kitty. You were correct. I don't think you're right. I know more about what she's been doing than you think I do. More than Kurt does, I suspect. She's doing more to help our 'dead' friends than we have in a long time. They're still alive, Kitty. Remy and Bobby. Lorna and Logan. Did you know that?"

"How did you know that?" Kitty flattened her hands on the table, her voice coarse.

"Is it possible you didn't? In you ignorance and determination to get even? I can't believe it. You must have known." His voice gentled. "Did you really think I'd help you try to stop her from finding them? It's been three years since we've seen Logan and Remy. Even longer for Lorna. And Bobby…" Trailing off, he pushed his glasses up his nose. The room was silent. Kitty was pale as death, as was Sam. Jubilee had an expression of rage on her face, with Everett lightly restraining her by holding her tight against him, his aura an angry flickering light around him. Kurt was gazing at Kitty with unabashed horror. Only Siryn sat with a calm expression on her face, as if all of her opinions had suddenly been justified. He picked up his bag. "I'll contact you, Kurt, once I've settled."

The other man's head jerked woodenly as Hank made his way to the door. Quickly realizing that his friend was about to leave he tried to stop him. "Henry."

Hank grasped the door handle. "Goodbye." He walked out of the room.

He could hear Jubilee screaming at Kitty even before the door shut.

The rest of the building seemed oddly normal to Paige and Rahne as they made their way out. People in the halls went about their everyday business barely offering a second glance at the two women, slightly battered and bruised. Rahne constantly tested the air for the scent of Sub-I agents while Paige kept her gun shaped hand jammed in her pocket. They walked through the lobby at a hurried pace, eyeing every shadow suspiciously. You'd never think there'd just been a small skirmish upstairs, Paige thought a little crazily. Her arm felt as if it were on fire. They needed to get away as fast as they could. On the street, people milled around, strolling with their lovers, dashing home in their business suits and briefcases. The pair made their way to a phone booth several blocks from their old office. Paige stood outside watching the street while Rahne called Simon. After a brief, albeit slightly frantic explanation, she seemed to get the answer she wanted.

"So?"

"He'll be sending a car around to pick us up at the usual place. We've got to move though." Rahne pulled at Paige's arm, and grimaced as Paige winced. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I can take care of it later."

They didn't notice the two shades that followed them down the street to Mario's where their ride waited. Didn't see the vicious grins that spread across their faces as they got in. Didn't hear the voice that slithered through the air as they drove away. "L.A., here we come.."

He was sitting on the hood of Hank's car, waiting. The pale skin that usually shunned the sunlight was abnormally sickly looking under the clear blue sky. "So'd ya do it?"

"Yes. I don't think Kitty will be able to salvage herself from this though."

"Don't worry about her. Kurt and I will take care of it. We've seen her through worse." He brought the long, thin cigarette to his mouth. "She hasn't been right since Wolverine disappeared. This has been coming for a long time. D'ya know where yer goin'?"

Hank shook his head. "I've some ideas. Nothing permanent though. How could she do that so deliberately?"

The other man shrugged nonchalantly, but his eyes filled with blue flame. "She didn't. She hasn't known all that long, I don't think. Had some notions about being the heroine of the piece, but today screwed that all to hell. Y' didn't tell them that though, did you?" At the other man's silence, he straightened up. "Bleedin' Christ, you didn't! How could you, McCoy?"

"I've been doing a lot lately that I hadn't planned on." Hank climbed in his car and started the engine. He felt some trepidation about the course on which he was about to embark upon. Shifting the car into gear, he slowly pulled it out onto the driveway and then quickly gained speed. The little black clad man shrank from view.

Off to find salvation.

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