Mr. Tim's Wild Ride

The first sign that Tim Drake had that something was amiss was when he woke up in a field of red poppies, surrounded by little orange men with green hair.

"Whu-?" Pushing himself up onto his elbows, Tim squinted and shook his head, trying to clear it.

An orange fist holding what looked like a multi-colored jack was thrust into his face. “I’ve got another puzzle for you,” an oddly low-pitched voice stated.

Tim recoiled from the hand and bolted to his feet. Too weird, he thought. His eyes roamed of the crowd before him and he began to back away.

“Listen to me and you will go far,” another advised him with a malicious look on its face.

“Yeah. Sure. Tell you what, guys. I’ll just- Oh man.” Tim raised his hand over his eyes to get a better look at the sky. Over what unbelievably appeared to be the Emerald City, someone had written "Surrender Nightwing" in smoke across the sky.

“Y’know Tim? I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore,” he muttered to himself as he continued to step backwards with a jaundiced eye trained on the Oompa-Loompas. They were now standing some twenty feet away from him. Just a few more feet and we’ll go, Tim estimated, when suddenly the crowd shifted and began to pursue him, launching sprays of Nerds and Runts into the sky. Tim turned to run, but his feet, instead of touching solid ground, landed on air instead.

As Tim lost his balance and fell into the massive hole, he looked up. There peeping over the edge, blocking the ever-dwindling light was an Oompa, waving to him gaily.

“You will live in happiness too!”

Curiouser and curiouser, Tim thought as he fell down through the dark pit. The wind whistled past him buoying up countless VCRs, all of their displays flashing 12:00. As the light above him dimmed, Tim twisted around to try to glimpse what was below. A gust of air came up under him to slow his descent, but Tim still landed with a solid thud on the ground.

Standing carefully, he surveyed his surroundings. It looked as if he had landed in the center ring of a large circus tent. He spun about slowly, absorbing everything around him. Tim heard a quiet whooshing sound overhead, and he turned in time in time to see Dick's silhouette flip through the air, into the shadows.

"Dick?" Tim took a few steps when a spotlight snapped on in the ring beside his. A cloaked figure stood in the center, silhouetted by the light.

A voice slithered across the tent and addressed him. "You know who you are, don't you?" The figure tossed his cloak over his shoulder.

Tim squinted to see the man's features. Faintly he could make out the shape of a diamond on his forehead. He sucked in his breath as the light shifted and revealed not a man, but a grotesque parody of one, instead.

“What are you talking about?” Tim stealthily reached toward his belt.

"You're the third Summers brother" The monster began to laugh demonically, and the light solidified and glinted off his sharp pointed teeth.

"Is that like a Smothers brother?" Tim askedd, confused. Behind him another light clicked on. In a third ring stood some sort of stasis tube with an unconscious man floating in it. "Who's that?" he asked, but received no answer. The light had already disappeared over the far ring, taking its occupant as well. Tim stepped over to the stasis tube and tried to get a better look at its prisoner, who wore a bright blue costume with some sort of gold metal mask over his eyes. Circling it, he noted that there didn't appear to be any controls on the outside of the tube. As he traced his hand over the glass, the temperature dropped significantly and Tim shivered.

“Honestly? I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.” Off to his left a young man with sandy hair stepped into the ring. Tim ran his gaze over him suspiciously, taking in his casual stance and 'Xavier’s' emblazoned sweatshirt. "Being the third Summers brother, I mean." The man shrugged and jabbed a thumb at the air over his shoulder. "It's more likely Remy.”

Another man materialized beside him and grinned widely at Tim. "H'lo."

Tim started as he realized that the newcomer's eyes glowed red in the dim light.

A loud crash and scream from behind Tim gathered everyone's attention. The stasis tube had shattered, liquid slowly draining out onto the floor. The man who had occupied it could be seen running out of the tent as fast as his unsteady legs would carry him.

Tim turned back to find the strange pair of men doubled up with laughter. "I don't understand, what's so funny?" He demanded. The pair just began to laugh harder. Tim frowned and began to run his gaze around the tent. A flashing shadow caught his eye. "Uh, guys..?" he began.

Just then a woman with white streaked hair dove down from above and scooping the red-eyed man up in her arms, she flew out of the tent.

The blond man shrugged as he watched them go. "Damn. She just can't seem to-Oh!" His vaguely disturbed expression lightened when he noticed a rather scantily clad woman with platinum hair take his arm. “Hello, nurse!” His face split with a salacious smile as she began to lead him away. He paused and waved at Tim. "See ya later, cuz!”

Tim blinked and watched the pair amble off into the darkness. "'Cuz,'" he muttered under his breath, "I don't have any cousins like him." He began to follow the pair, only to be dragged backwards rather forcefully.

"C'mon Tim, we have to get going." A dark haired girl of about his age was pulling him toward an exit. "You promised me an ice cream," her voice lilted with a faint Irish accent.

"I don't think-" Tim began, but was interrupted when another boy came running in.

"Molly! Where are you going? Who's this?" The young man who entered looked strikingly like Tim. A little more scruffy looking perhaps with his duct taped glasses, but the pair could have easily passed for twins.

The girl scowled. "Tim?"

"Yes?" Both boys answered her simultaneously, and then looked at each other, startled. Overhead an owl screeched. Whoo!

The other Tim looked up and stretched his arms into the air. "Yoyo!" he called gleefully.

The owl ignored him and began to circle through the air, as if looking for something. After a moment it stopped circling and flew towards someone just outside the ring. A low voice talked to the owl as it settled on its owner's arm. He stepped into the ring and stared into the shocked faces of the Tims, his own mirror images.

Molly 's frown deepened. "Wait a second. If you're Tim, and you're Tim as well, who's this?" she demanded.

"I'm Harry!" The little wizard proudly proclaimed.

"That's it, I'm through with this, Tim Hunter!" Molly stalked off out of the tent.

"Molly, wait!" The other Tim raced after her through the hole.

"That was odd," Harry remarked as his bird unfurled its wings and took flight into the recesses of the tent. Harry followed it, dutifully.

Tim, once again alone, decided to follow the others out through the hole in the side of the tent into the sunshine.

Tim shaded his eyes as he stepped out into the light, noting that he was in a small, tree-ringed field. Across the way, he could make out some movement and tried to get a better look at it. Suddenly a red blur streaked across the field and stopped in front of him. Tim smiled in relief. The Flash. Maybe he knew what was going on.

Before he could utter a word, the Flash split into three, two nearly identical save for the fact that one had blue eyes and the other green, and one who was subtly different from the both of them. "They key is originality," they chorused with the same knowing smiles. In perfect synchronicity, they each reached behind their backs and produced a card bearing the image of a Robin. Tim realized that each card was of a different boy, one of Dick, one of the boy who must have been Jason, and one of himself. The Flashes began to pass the cards back and forth, slowly accelerating their movements. "Which Robin is which?" they asked.

Tim watched the cards until he became dizzy and shut his eyes. When he opened them again, they were gone and he was standing in a copse of trees.

Beyond them, he could see the body of a Robin lying sprawled on the grass with two old women standing over him.

Creeping closer, he could hear them speaking softly to each other.

"Funny," said one, "I remember him from when my girl was little, and he's still a boy."

"Peter Pan?" asked the other, hopefully.

The first woman sighed, exasperated. "No Wendy, it's not Peter. Come along." She took the other woman's arm and they slowly shuffled off into the brush.

Tim was about to go out into the field to see who was lying there when the Robin twitched, startling him. He raised his head, peered around, and jumped to his feet, running off in the opposite direction as the old ladies.

"He has more fun that way," a voice behind him said in his ear.

Tim jumped and turned. Behind him stood Dick dressed in his Nightwing costume. He held up his hands. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

Tim regarded him warily, and then shook his head. "Whatever. Could you tell me what's going on here?"

Nightwing shrugged. "Dunno. Hey, have you seen Babs around here somewhere?"

"No, but-" Tim's eyes widened. "Di-er- Nightwing, it was the weirdest thing. I was in Oz with a bunch of Oompa-Loompas and someone had written 'Surrender Nightwing' across the sky!"

Nightwing shrugged carelessly. "Oh that."

Tim could faintly hear a rumbling noise. He frowned. "Do you know what it is?" he prodded.

Dick gave a nervous snort and began to pace. "Who knows? It's-" The rumbling noise increased and began to take on a shrill quality. Dick's face lost all of its color.

"What's that?" Tim asked as the sound became deafening.

Dick gave a strangled whisper as the source of the commotion came into view. "My fanclub."

With that, a mob of females wielding notebooks, pencils and paintbrushes bore down on Dick, who sensibly took off into the woods. The women buffeted Tim as they streamed past him in an effort to capture their quarry. Tim caught the business end of a laptop across his knees and went down.

After the crowd had passed, Tim got up off the ground and began dusting himself off, watching the horde go chasing off after Dick. A dark cloaked figure entered his peripheral vision and stood beside him.

Tim cocked his head. "Steph?"

She nodded and slipped her hood off. Tim's mouth worked helplessly as he gazed at her, bat cowl, red eyes and bloodstained lips that were moving toward his...

Tim began to back away screaming. He tripped over a root-- and found himself staring at a buzzing fluorescent light. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he realized that he was in the candy store at the mall and that his head was killing him. Bart was hovering over him, dancing impatiently.

"It was an accident! I swear!" he stared down at him nervously. "You knocked over the candy and broke the jelly bean rack."

Tim looked around and noticed all of the scattered jelly beans and boxes of Nerds. Taking the hand Bart proffered, he stood and ran a hand through his hair. "Y'know, Bart? I don't even wanna know," he said, and limped out of the store.

~fin~

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