West (west) n. 1 - The direction in which sunset occurs (270 degrees on the compass; opposite east) 2 - A region in or towards this direction 3 - A young Canadian man of remarkable charm, talent, raw sex appeal and general pizzazz.

Yeah, that'd be me. Ryan 'Wild Wild' West, amateur writer with ambitions of grandeur, lover of women, giver of frustration, maker of mischief and wielder of one of the most powerful egos this side of Milwaukee. A man who's love and compassion for others is only paralleled by the innate supremacy of his own being. Who melts hearts with the slightest glance, and warms them with the faintest smile. Who... Well, you get the idea. I'd best abstain from any more personal proclamations of perfection before I risk censorship and mail bombing...

So you want biographical data, then? Well, I'm just your average scrawny pale guy from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. I'm as fiercely patriotic as I am egotistical. Had I a pain threshold above that of a six year old girl, I'd likely tattoo a Maple Leaf across my chest or something equally stupid yet nationalistic. I've always enjoyed writing and, mostly due to an absolute apathy in the face of actual work, hope to make a career of it once I've amassed some suitable creds. That, and it's an integral part of my mind-numbingly complex scheme for world domination. It's hard being a megalomaniac, but someone's got to do it. I hate cats, leprachauns and not getting my way. My turn ons include long walks on the beach and swimming naked in giant vats of blue Gatorade. I refused to mature past an elementary school level and thus still read comics, watch cartoons and am completely incapable of tying my own shoelaces. That's about it. Seriously, I'm that simple.