Disclaimer: Any similarity between me and Jonothon Starsmore is purely coincidental. Okay, so we both come from the South of England, play lead guitar, wear an inordinate amount of black and spend our lives existing within a cloud of self-induced misery (is he a Capricorn, too?). I am, however, in full possession of my face, am in a happy relationship and have no psychic powers.

My code-names tend to vary depending on who you speak to; anything from 'the mad vegetarian' to 'the witch-woman' to 'that silly ****** who thinks she's Tony Iommi'. Interests include annoying the neighbours with poorly executed bends, pampering my dogs, ancient history and folklore/mythology. My ambitions are fairly mundane: to publish a book, write a screenplay based on the life of my heroine, Boudica and conquer the world through music. Donations to these causes are always welcome...